Marketing to Family and Friends: How to Blow Your Campaign by Failing to Prepare
January 30, 2008
Family and friends are going to be affected by a creative individual’s career.
No man or woman is an island in life. We all overlook this simple truth without really considering what it actually means in practical terms. It is also easy to overlook this: marketing really starts in the home, with your family, and it is (almost) vital (but not always possible) to have their deep support for what you are endeavoring to do, because without it, you flounder and have nobody to fall back on when things get rough.
This article follows on from the Introduction to Soo Doh Nim, and is another marketing article for Creative Artists. It’s one that should be read by the family members of every Creative Artist, and I don’t just mean immediate family, but more importantly, extended family.
This article and others referenced within it are tools that can and should be forwarded to others whose help you, as a Creative Artist, or the father, mother, brother or sister of a Creative Artist, when you seek to elicit their help in securing the protection of privacy for your creative family member. This is not without challenge, but the challenge must be mastered with due consideration for the personalities and characters involved.
To Creative Artists, I urge you, include your family in your career, but be smart and clever about it, because there is a cost to fame and success and it is thoughtless acts of unintended destruction that we are seeking to counteract and prevent with this article.
The Cost of Fame is Privacy and Trust
Once you achieve public success and even as you start to achieve success in small ways, it is important to consider how you, as a Creative Artist, will manage it. Events will occur, and bursting with pride as you and others may be, consideration must be given to the consequences of communicating such success.
The rewards of a successful creative career, particularly in the broadcast arts of music and film, are matched by a corresponding loss of trust and privacy. Fame and success has a cost; you no longer have the luxury of wearily determining why people are approaching you, and whether or not they are there for you, and who you really are, or because of what you have created by being who you really are.
Additionally, people confuse the public image with the private person, and they abuse both; intentionally and unintentionally.
The Creative Artist has to take responsibility for this too.
But it is the protection of privacy and trust that this article is all about, and that even the adoption of a pseudonym is all about. Let’s face it, there are nutters out there in the world. They get very weird ideas about public people and they stalk and they plan kidnappings and extortions and all sorts of things.
One may think, “Yes, but it doesn’t matter until they are famous.”
One would be wrong to think this, because fame does not happen overnight. It is only a myth that is worked for in this particular business of illusion.
Fame is in the small things that build the momentum and eventually get noticed as the larger things they are portents of, and without which the larger things would not occur.
A favorite quote:
“Intellectuals resolve problems. Genius prevents them.”
And I would add: Learns from them.
Letting Family and Friends in on ‘the Secret’
The best way to do this is through personal contact, or an extended family meeting where all the family are pulled together and brought into the picture of what is to happen and there you have a discussion about what is planned and why your pseudonym is an important part of your public life and building a brand.
Many will have questions, some will be insulted because they think you’re betraying the family name, others will want to have a say in what your name is going to be, and want to choose it for you. If they have little understanding of marketing or what has already been determined then it’s going to cause problems later.
Blowing a carefully crafted marketing campaign is as simple as an uninformed family member posting an innocent comment mentioning your real name on your blog, or an email to someone who then passes on that information without thinking or considering if they have the right to do so. As fame grows the boundaries of what is appropriate become thin and nebulous because public and private life are diametrically opposed to one another. Therefore they have to be managed.
Respecting Career Impact on the Lives of Others
The management of this particular aspect of the career cements the commitment to career, and it is an important step forward that should occur prior to a full-on public campaign. It requires some preparation and some careful consideration.
When and where possible the family are to an extent defined by the Creative Artist, part of the career-building team, the inner circle. This does not give family a license to interfere with career, and does not entitle them to know every decision that is being made. This is a matter of respecting how the career of a Creative Artist may impact upon their lives and your relationships with them, and looking after it in the best possible way for all concerned.
Family and Friends are Caretakers of Privacy for Creative Artists
This is often overlooked, even when a family member or a friend knows you are using a pseudonym, they don’t stop to think what that means and the privacy of their brother, sister, cousin, uncle, aunt, etc. is not considered to be something they are now a caretaker of.
That one comment, and the mention of your name can undo months or years of work in a moment, and that work cost you money, time and effort to put in place.
The observation is made: it takes a long time to create something worthwhile, but it can always be destroyed in a moment.
It is thoughtless acts of unintended destruction that we are seeking to counteract and prevent with this particular article.
Such acts occur in a moment of triumph, where the endorphin rush and flush of pride simply overcomes the otherwise good judgment of a normally composed and thoughtful person. It is not that one should curtail the excitement, nor fail to communicate it, it’s just that one should be aware of who and what one is saying to who, when.
In other words, “Don’t blurt!”
To blurt is to commit a thoughtless act of unintended destruction. It’s better to ask, and learn the ropes.
Now this only applies if the Creative Artist, or Performing Artist, has stipulated how they want such things to be known. There are those who simply can’t get enough fame and are supremely confident with their ability to hire expensive and costly security guards, and who trust that the power supply to their CCtv and other security devices will always work, and that the attack dogs will never be more than mildly hungry instead of ravenous, and who simply don’t mind if every little story makes its way into the media. They don’t care, or they deal with this in other ways, often by simply denying it or not even deigning to do anything with it.
No family nor individual is without skeletons in the closet in various states of decomposition. Human beings are by their very nature subject to whim, impulse, pressure and coercion or the struggle to craft a successful and moral life wouldn’t be worthwhile, nor provide us with the great lessons of mistake that can be gained from experience and reflection.
The Consequences of Fame
Stephen King’s family home in Maine was broken into by a stalker-fan, terrifying his wife and their children. Princess Diana was hounded to her death by paparazzi. Numerous other stars have been caught in the tabloids and Mainstream Media (MSM) as being hounded by stalkers, psychotics, murderers, rapists and others. George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, JK Rowling, etc. The illusion of public access and accessibility creates a misperception in the minds of some and that entails and creates a risk for the family and lives of Creative Artists. A couple of years back legendary guitarist Dimebag Darrell was shot on stage at a performance by a member of the audience, who was a paranoid schizophrenic that believed the band was reading his mind and stealing his lyrics.
These things happen because of fame, and because there are people living lives with some very odd ideas informing them. Fascination and fixation have odd consequences, and it is difficult to strike a balance, and cater for all eventualities, though one should make the effort to contain and manage most preventable problems.
Once cannot protect oneself from such circumstances or from people whose realities are not shared by the rest of us. One can only take reasonable precautions and preventative measures to ensure the safety of those who give us a place to go to when the world appears too harsh.
Establishing Filters-and-Screens - The Options
One learns to establish filters-and-screens, and these are professional and social. This is not unusual - it is the nature of the business. Most families and individuals have already established filters and screens in personal and social life.
Following are a set of options that are available to the Creative Artist to consider for use, each have their merits, pros and cons and need to be evaluated in that light, within the context of what you’re trying to achieve, and of your career goals.
Option 1: Communicate Nothing
This is the safest option. It does not work for a pseudonym unless you hide the fact that the pseudonym is yours from your family and friends. This is the simplest of things to do and leaves a lot of things uncomplicated, cost-effective and easy to manage. But, when using a pseudonym, one needs to communicate to those who know you about what to do as success is achieved.
I’m quite a private person in many ways and I am a master at the art of saying something while saying nothing critically important when it is necessary to do so. It’s very interesting to monitor people’s interest in a subject and determine how genuine it is.
People have a lot of filters in place and when you understand these filters it is interesting to see what passes and what does not, and to then act accordingly and strategically, if that seems appropriate.
Communicating nothing is a way to determine who has any real interest in what you have to say. Interested people ask questions. People who are not interested don’t.
Option 2: The Role of the Non-Disclosure and the Bond of Trust
The Non-disclosure Agreement is a means by which you can secure your security for your family and others. The Bond, another legal document, is also a means by which you can secure the necessary secrecy important to the security of yourself and your family.
The bond is a legal instrument which can be used to enforce nondisclosure. Essentially it states that if the person breaks trust and releases the confidential and private information then they are liable to a stiff financial penalty. A bond is only effective when the financial penalty is greater than the sums that will be offered by those who want to know and publish facts.
The Non-disclosure is sufficient with most people, but in some circumstances, the use of a bond as well may be advised.
The document adds value to what appears to be of no or intangible value.
There are those who say that Non-disclosures “are useless documents,” but talk to a lawyer and you’ll discover those who say this are incorrect. People who say such things about Non-disclosure Agreements should not be trusted. That’s an example of a filter-and-screen at work.
The document is a witness when there are none.
When you are working in the realm of ideas, the non-disclosure agreement is an exceptionally important and valuable tool to use. Those who discount its utility and value are unaware of the risk and value of ideas, and if they know anything about your ideas, then your ideas are at risk. It’s that simple. Use a Non-disclosure agreement, it’s the industry standard.
Option 3: A Simple Conversation
With some people it’s simply a matter of a conversation. It’s very uncomplicated. The only thing one has to consider is that people change when the reality of success bites. And then, circumstances are always changing.
Success creates opportunity for everybody (but not all are welcome).
The people with whom a simple conversation is enough, are those who have already had trust placed with them and who have upheld that trust and established their ability to care for and nurture it.
Who Betrays Trust?
It is a sad fact of life today that it is only those you trust who betray you. Only those you trust can betray. So, establishing a legal means of protecting yourself from those who can and will betray you when or if times get hard by “selling the inside story”, etc. is important. Even when you live the most exemplary life, there are those who, in today’s world, will make up a story and sell it.
When you’re popular and well known, one of the ways the tabloids do business is by focusing attention on you. But they have to have their attention focused on you first, and it’s usually someone who has “some secrets” to tell who does that.
It’s also a sad fact that the purulent and prurient fascinations of the tabloid industry are also subject to manipulation by less scrupulous performers who seek attention through scandal in order to move their (often flagging) careers.
Publication in the tabloids is one way (of dubious merit) to get attention and land another part in a script, or raise flagging sales of songs, films, books or other creative works. It is not unknown for anonymous sources to be the friends of artists who have been urged to release something.
The competition for cash in a consumer-driven society does much to damage scruple and principle.
Such things being likely to occur in a society motivated by greed and consumerism puts the Creative Artist into the sometimes murky realm of Crisis Management. The premature or unauthorized release of information or disregard of branding elements increases costs, involves a lot of time, muddies the field and can destroy a career many people have been involved in putting together.
Having an NDA and/or a bond in place, makes it possible to promote what is happening under secure conditions prior to publication and release, and is quite capable of preventing the need for crisis management. This is often overlooked by those who discount the value of such documents. But I know attorneys who use these all the time and offer them for download.
The Enticement of Communicating Secrets
Being “in the know” has always been a source of status for human beings in communities. When you know something others don’t, then it becomes a form of social and community capital that one can use to garner position and status. One needs to be aware of this way in which people use knowledge as a source of power.
How and to what degree your family and friends will be affected must be loosely managed and controlled for the benefit of all, without getting stupid and silly about it.
There are those within families whose financial status is going to make them hunger for the “easy money.” The claim of blood and family tie is a strong one, it should not be abused by anybody, particularly within the family, so the formulation of a realistic Family Pact is important.
One can see such pacts in force when one studies successful acts like The Rolling Stones, U2, and The Osmonds to name just a few. It is very interesting to see how bands and others close ranks when things go wrong in order to manage any crisis, before then managing it intelligently.
This can have many advantages to the family and the career of the creative individual concerned, and that doesn’t mean financial only either; people need to create their own lives and not be parasites on the lives of others, but like all things this requires a balanced perspective because people ‘get funny’ about money, so it is prudent to put appropriate protection in place at every level of life (a subject we will cover elsewhere and in the intellectual property series).
Decisions, Decisions
It should be the Creative Artist’s Decision as to what is to be done - it is their career, not the family’s. The counsel of family is important, as it is assumed they have the best interests of their relations at heart, but it is not the only factor, and in the end, it is they who have decided what they will be in life and it is their life. As family and friends our role is to help and support that, as we would hope to enjoy the same support and assistance in our own ‘ordinary’ lives.
Trust is…?
One has to know who one can trust with what level and degree of secret and act accordingly to communicate or not. If in doubt about the degree of trust you can place, then do not communicate.
However, some degree of trust and communication must be embraced when you are working with a pseudonym.
It is said that trust is earned. But this is not the whole picture of trust by any means.
Trust is not only earned. Trust is placed. And it can be well placed, or misplaced.
Clever Crisis Management turns Disadvantage into Advantage
Even a thoughtless blurt can become an advantage for many. Hopefully this article helps accomplish that next step because the success of a Creative Artist such as a storyteller, a songwriter, a poet, a fine artist, should always - when possible - be a family affair if it is to be a successful career in the fullest sense of the phrase.
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